Souljafluenza
by TerryTarhop
Summary: Hogwarts, Marauders, Muggle Radio, DANCE PARTY! No pairings... Just good ol' Marauder time! CRACK-FIC-ish! We don't own anything!


**Soldjafluenza**

There was a group of four boys sitting around the fire in their usual seats. They all appeared to be absorbed in their own separate thoughts. When one of the boys had enough of the unusual silence, he spoke up.

'I'm _bored!_' came from the mouth of Sirius Black.

'Good for you, mate.' His best friend, James said.

'Why don't you go for the usual, and bother Snape?' Remus replied to Sirius concerning his boredom.

'I never thought I'd ever be saying this in my life, but… I don't feel like it,' Sirius piped up.

Remus nodded, and Peter just looked plain lost. James, in the complete opposite to his comrades, reacted a little differently. James gave Sirius a dramatic gasp in reply. Sirius nodded.

'Yes, I know, it's a shocker for us all, but it's true… for today at least.'

James let out a sigh of relief. For a second, he had thought that he has lost his best friend.

'What do you suppose we do, then?' Peter finally said.

'Uh… I dunno… got any ideas there, Moony?' Sirius said.

'Well… I actually… have… nothing…' Remus confessed.

'I'm ashamed of you… you always know everything…' James teased.

'Whatever, Prongs. You have nothing better.' Remus argued.

'Just because that's true, doesn't mean I can't come up with something!' James retaliated.

Before Remus could argue, the Marauders caught sight of Lily carrying a radio; she places it on a small table, and turns it on… a muggle song just ended, and another began… so called the "the Souldja Boy". Lily, Alice, Mary and Sabrina all started to dance to the song… it appeared to come with the song.

'Do I want to know…?' James said to Sirius.

'It's dance time!' Lily announced.

A random dance montage happened. Lily, Alice, Mary and Sabrina all began to dance the Souldja Boy. "Cranking" to this side and the other, but truly, it was the "Superman" part that got the Marauders' attentions. The girls looked incredible while dancing, they had to admit. James, in the meantime, was busy staring at Lily, observing her technique and the dance in general… that sounded fake, even to our author typing. He was just doing general "gaga" staring. Remus' attention was all for Sabrina. The Marauders knew for some time that Remus fancied Sabrina. Frank, who was sitting nearby the Marauders, was looking at Alice, as if just lost into her eyes. Sirius, of course, being his sexist self, had his attention directed to all of the girls. Peter… he was… not exactly looking at… the _girls_… if you're catching what we're throwing.

Next, Lily announced that they were moving the party to the whole school. Everyone followed Lily to the Great Hall… skipping/strutting to the rhythm, of course.

This was just before dinner, so Lily knew that there would be many more people coming. There were several people already at the Great Hall. Lily warned the people there to clear the tables in three seconds, before she parted the tables. They did as she commanded, and cleared the way. You don't mess with the lady with the radio in hand.

Once the tables were parted, Lily set the radio down in a corner, and turned the "tuneage" up. The girls stopped dancing, and they picked a boy to start dancing. Alice pulled Frank up, Mary pulled Sirius up, Sabrina pulled Remus up, and Lily pulled up James.

The four looked like they should've been in a boy band. Lily was looking at James. She was mysteriously attracted to him while he danced. Maybe it was because she was interested in boy bands… yeah, that had to be it. She, Lily Isabella Rose Evans did NOT like James Potter!! NEVER! EVER! ... Maybe… it could be possible…

Then, all the sudden they get hit by a part of the song that they hadn't seen the dance for. They immediately changed courses into full boy band mode. James was up front, on his right, was Sirius, to Sirius's other side was Frank. To James' left, Remus, but he went to fetch Peter because they were un-even on sides. They commanded the girl's attentions, whether they be Gryffindors, Ravenclaws (some had arrived for dinner), Hufflepuffs (ditto here) or some of the very few Slytherin girls, they had them wolf-whistling, fan girl screaming, fanning themselves with their hands while grinning madly, drooling and even trying to get their attentions in any way possible! They just continued dancing, as if they didn't mind the crowds of girls screaming for them.

When their turns were up, the screaming girls got a little upset. But, the most interesting group was to go up. The remaining Slytherins had arrived. The Marauders plus Frank chose to take this opportunity. They selected Severus Snape to dance along with Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black, Regulus Black (Sirius commented, 'you're gonna dance there, bro! I'm so happy for you! ), and Bellatrix Black to dance. Obviously Narcissa and Bellatrix declined the dance offer. Severus in the meantime was too quickly dragged onto the dance floor to decline. Lucius found it interesting, and wasn't about to back down from a challenge given to him by a student younger than him… especially a Gryffindor.

Of course, none recognized the song, except for Severus who had heard this song on several occasions with Lily during the summer. He even knew the dance… but refused to dance it. Luckily, Lily cast a charm on the dance floor just recently, so in the case that the students didn't know the dance, they would instantly know it. Lucius and Regulus had already started to dance the Souldja Boy. It was amusing to everyone's eyes. The Gryffindors were on the floor laughing. Others were cheering on the "cranking" and the "Superman" part. Unfortunately, they were hit with the "Super Soaker" part. It made the Gryffindors laugh harder, especially those who knew the Souldja Boy song before this.

'Watch 'em crank that Souldja Boy to Superman! Now I mean you, you, you! Now, I mean you, you, you!' the Muggleborns sang/chanted together while trying to suppress laughter.

Now, the problem with Severus Snape being dragged on stage is that he was not willing to dance…. ever... for anybody.

He just stood there doing nothing bout scowling at the pleased crowd. Nobody had taken notice that Severus hadn't started dancing. Then again, no one ever noticed Severus unless there was something deeply embarrassing or painful happening to him. He was actually thankful for not being noticed. That is until…

'Hey, why isn't Snivelly dancing?' enquired Sirius.

'I'm bemused at the authors' vocabulary… Even though I think it was a bad call thinking you were of enough intelligence to even _utter_ the word "enquired".' Lily commented. This became a habit of hers, insulting the Marauders… except for Remus, of course. 'He _should_ be dancing… I mean, it's not like he doesn't _know_ the dance…'

'HOW could he possibly know the song, if he's not a-' James started and then got a nasty idea. 'Lily… _what_ have you been doing with Snivellus when we're not here to look after you? I mean, a comment on _that_ knowing the dance could only be you…'

'Ugh, don't even put images of that in my head… Eck!' Sirius commented before Lily could answer.

'Well, I _did_ place a charm on the dance floor so that whoever steps on stage instantly knows the dance, didn't I?' Lily spat back at James, completely ignoring Sirius.

'Better have been…' James muttered darkly. Thankfully no one but Lily caught his remark, and she merely chuckled lightly, and went to the dance floor.

'Hey, Sev. You know you're supposed to _dance_ on the dance floor.' Lily said as if telling a toddler that one plus one is two, the most obvious thing in the world. As if Severus had no idea-

'How's about cutting it out with them insults?! Or, I could just cut it _for_ you!' Sev replied at the authors. Someone's not PMSing…

Severus growled.

'Ok, chill, Sev. Just dance. Simple. It's just what there trying to do, isn't that right, TerryTarhop?' Lily said. We reply as he can't know what we're doing, its life. You never know what's going to happen.

'Okay, if that made sense whatsoever, I'd possibly have a better chance at taking that, but I haven't.' Severus is still not grumpy. Ah, well. He'll get his day eventually.

'Sev, just try, that's all I'm asking for.' Lily had that look on her face that Severus could never say no to. The look that said please-do-it-and-I'll-be-really-happy-and-I-know-you-like-it-when-I'm-happy. Ugh, Severus detested that look, because it made him actually feel something. Something he wasn't sure Lily felt back. That was all very sad, and all, but not the point of the story!

All Severus did was nod. Lily walked back to her friends, and sat down with them.

To their surprises, Severus' foot began tapping. He was actually getting into rhythm. "No way!" thought the Marauders and all of Lily's friends. Lily just smiled and continued watching Severus. Everyone's eyes averted from he dancing Lucius Malfoy and Regulus Black, to Severus tapping his foot to the rhythm. They quickly went back to exactly what they were doing, for Severus had stopped.

He continued up, and nobody had noticed. He began bopping his head. His shoulders began moving. He started to sway slightly. Then, he somewhat started to dance… and then…

**BAM!**

As if it was a miracle operation, Severus had begun to dance the Souldja Boy. Jaws dropped at the sight, there were gasps, then…

… Cheering? There were people _cheering_ for him? Never in all his life had he gotten multiple people _cheering_ for him! That was a shock even to Severus himself. There were even wolf-whistles. Probably as a joke, though. It was the only way possible. Well, unless it was from Pettigrew, of course. Severus had a funny feeling about the way that rat acts around others with the same gender…

Well, Severus had enough of the attention and decided to leave the dance floor. Lucius and Regulus left with him, seeing as that would make them look stupid.

Then, out of the blue, Tonks and her friend Melody made their way to the dance floor. No invitation needed, all Tonks did was ask Sirius, (who hugged her seeing as he IS her cousin and he wished her luck ((sorry)) because he had a feeling she might fall flat on her face while dancing. He was more concerned with the falling).

Little first-year Nymphadora Tonks ('Just TONKS!' she said) and her friend Melody begun dancing. Melody had more flow, of course. Long story short: Tonks is the klutz and Melody is the actually coordinated one. No retaliations. No comments about it, that's the way it is.

They moved separately without partners on the dance floor. It looked quite awkward, but, they pulled it off by coming together once in a while. Then (much to Sirius' anger) two first year boys came and asked if they needed partners for their dance. Those kids have a lot of balls to cross Sirius Black.

Paddles had a really angry look on his face when he saw how they were dancing. Close, very close. Well, to Paddles, anything within arms distance is too close to his "baby cousin" as he calls her. But, at least he wasn't trying to knock the boys' brains out, which was a good sign. Okay, so perhaps we were a exaggerating a tinge. They were close _enough_ to the girls for Paddles to get mad. Not attacking mad, but sure as hell mad.

The boys didn't take it far, but Paddles had seen enough. He pulled the boys by the ears and took them off the dance floor. Once out of the Great Hall, he literally kicked their sorry asses. That's what they get for messing with Sirius. Then, he told the girls on the dance floor to give it up for another person to dance. They moaned, but agreed.

'What the heck, I feel like dancing again! …anyone up for it?' Lily asked. Everyone was still sore from their dance, but even though he would usually be a lazy ass, and his legs were sore, he couldn't miss the opportunity.

'I'll- I'll dance with you…' James piped up.

'Sure, whatever.' Lily answered him. Was she giving James Potter his first shot at her?

James started to dance normally, and so did Lily. But then, James started to look at Lily while he danced. Then Lily did also. They swayed to the music together. Lily placed her hand in James' and they entwined fingers. Lily then placed her hand on James' shoulder. He had no choice but to gently place his other hand on her waist. Even though this is NOT the song to be doing this, there Gryffindors, so it doesn't matter.

In his arms, she felt relaxed, for some odd reason. She realized how tired she really was, and decided to rest her head on his chest. He looked down at her in confusion. Didn't she despise him, like, yesterday? She's changing her mind a lot lately… You'd never know with her… She closed her eyes, and let herself drift off. He looked down at her once again, and noticed this. They swayed to the music peacefully together, secretly hoping that the moment wouldn't end.

He had seen enough. He could not take anymore of this "Fluff" business. No more shall he suffer watching.

Severus went up to Lily, and tapped her shoulder. She- reluctantly- pulled away from James. Prongs, in the meanwhile was taken aback by her presence being so abruptly gone. He opened his eyes to find that Lily had been dragged off by Severus. There were laughs from the audience. James just left the stage as soon as possible.

But, the fun doesn't end there, kiddies. There's more!

Once he left the dance floor, the song was over, and the next one had begun. The music was turned on louder than ever, and almost everyone was dancing. James left, and so did Severus dragging Lily. Speaking of that…

Lily's POV

(Several seconds earlier)

I felt a tap on my shoulder. I really didn't want to leave. He felt so… unlike what I perceived him to be… modest with his movements, almost.

I lifted off, and realized it was Sev that tapped my shoulder… I thought he was done dancing. Ah, well. I'll let him cut in.

But, apparently, that wasn't on his mind. He started to pull me off before I had time to say anything. Why was he pulling me off from the party _I_ started?... Okay, dumb question.

Did I completely forget that Sev and Potter don't get along best of buds? And I just _happened_ to be dancing with my best guy friend's arch _nemesis_! Wow, don't I feel stupid… I kept my mouth shut until Sev addressed anything, I'm afraid that I'll say the wrong thing…

'What were you thinking getting so close to Potter?!' Sev asked. Gosh, I hate it when he's mad.

'Sev, it was nothing, I swear to you! Just an innocent dance! It's not like I actually like Potter like that! There's where I think you got it wrong.' I said. I still feel stupid…

'Right, and that's why you started to dance like that! To me, it didn't look like just a dance. It appeared as if you like him. I don't want you to lie, Lily! Tell me the truth! I can handle it!' Sev almost screamed. I can sense it in his voice.

'Sev… I don't like him at all. Not like, in the way you're thinking, at least. Not that far, only as a mere acquaintance, barely even that.' I explained. It didn't sound very convincing to my own ears, but I know Sev will believe that I'm telling the truth, he just has to! I don't want him thinking I like Potter. EW. That would be just gross and un-natural.

'Right, Lily. That's exactly how you feel…' Sev is using the guilt again. Ugh, he knows I hate it when he uses that.

'Sev… please, just… idea, I think this will prove it.' I said. Quick plans are not my best, but I can try to pull something together as best as I can… This might be stupid, but it's the only thing I can do.

END!... of the point of view…

Lily had a look in her eye that clearly told that she was up to something. What something, you would never expect.

Lily took hold of Sev's hand, and laced her fingers in between his. Severus held his tongue and said nothing about what Lily was getting to. Lily faced Severus and neared her head closer to his. Their noses were near touching. Lily continued to move closer, and Severus was nervous about what was coming. Now he knew.

Then Lily placed her lips gently on his. The taste of each other was glorious. As if they had finally found each other for the first time. They enjoyed each other's taste for several minutes, locked in a passionate kiss (!).

They pulled away from each other, and it was Lily who spoke first.

'So, if I liked Potter, do you think that I would have done that?' she said. Indeed Severus couldn't do anything but believe her. She _had_ kissed him quite passionately and she had invited for him to do the same.

So, they decided to go back to the party, and now that they were officially together, they walked hand in hand.

No one had taken notice whatsoever, but they were okay with that. Just as long as James didn't make a big fuss… _wait__…__ where did he get to?_ Lily wondered. Then, she burst out laughing at the picture that had appeared in her mind. Severus looked at her with a puzzled look on his face, and she filled him in with her image of James standing there, getting laughed at, and running away crying. Severus had to laugh, I mean, who wouldn't if their arch nemesis had run away crying like a little girl… in front of a crowd.

Everyone left for their own common rooms after several hours of partying. The teachers were looking for the person who had started the party, either to congratulate them or put them in heavy detention, no one could tell. All they knew was that overall, it was an excellent party.

They had found James Potter alright. Don't worry Prongsie fans! He was only sulking in the Common Room… withhislittlepurplestuffedanimalcalledcocothatnoonewassupposedtoknowabout.

_**A.N.**__** So, how**__**'**__**d you guys like the Soldjafluenza? Little random, we know, but that**__**'**__**s the customary thing in slight crack-fics. Trust us, were master crack-fic-ers. We**__**'**__**re not high on some nasty drugs, or drinking excessively. We**__**'**__**re just good at coming up with really weird things when we**__**'**__**re tired, are having a sleepover, and are drinking pop, or eating something sweet. We**__**'**__**re weird that way. So tell us what you thought about the fic, by leaving a kind review. Go on. Press that hot button. Everyone loves it, so it MUST be attractive**__**…**__** (wink, wink)**_


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